Parlay those 5 games and take the over on Duke/NC.

I am not watching another college basketball game until the tournament starts.

I don’t care about money lines or point totals anymore. For the sake of my sanity and for my health, I can’t watch anymore college basketball until after Selection Sunday.

The reason? I am terrible at picking games. This might be the worst stretch of gambling luck I have had since that day in Vegas where I doubled down on an eleven against a six, ended up losing a $100 bet, and nearly reached for my chips before the succubus dealer could grab them and then stare me down with pure evil in her eyes. Don’t touch the chips, sir.

Over the weekend, I watched eight games over the span of three days and I picked exactly three of those games correctly.

And, in addition to not being able to hit any mythical bets on games I actually watched, I also missed 8 of the other 11 games I allegedly bet on and almost drained my entire pretend online gambling account. I wasn’t making uneducated guesses here, I am talking about games featuring Top 25 teams who actually had good match-ups, good match-ups in terms of covering the spread and good match-ups in terms of talent on the floor. I would have been better off drawing names out of hat.

A quick word for the kids out there – don’t gamble. Don’t even think about it. It’s bad for you. It ruins families and it’s not fun. If you want to gamble, take your money and buy some of those new George Washington dollar coins. Sure, they won’t be in circulation in three years, but at least it will still be money.

Anyone who thinks they know the game and thinks they have any idea who will win the National Championship this year, I have just one thing to say: you are lying to yourself.

Nobody knows. Nobody who can claim to have any skill in picking college basketball games has any idea what will happen from day-to-day, much less what will happen in more than a month. Everybody seems frustrated by this, but nobody can explain why it’s happening.

I mean, I can understand a few upsets here and there during tournament time, but aren’t we supposed to be able to trust the Number 10 team (Georgetown) going on the road and beating Syracuse – especially since the Hoyas were playing to lock up a two-seed in the tournament?

If you can’t get that game right, all bets are off. Literally. And now Syracuse will make it into the tournament and they will either lose in the firs round or they will make it to the Sweet 16. I have no idea which it will be and frankly, its scaring the hell out of me.

Trust, me -- I have spent the last three weeks studying betting lines, watching games, reading the experts, and breaking down college basketball almost exclusively and I know less today than I did when I started the process. It’s a mess. I’m a mess.

I am going to fill out my brackets in two weeks based on uniform color or mascot name and not use any of the information I think I gathered over the last month.

It’s driving me crazy.