Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Did you ever think we would miss these two guys?

We didn’t think so either.

Its Packer week and we have no idea what to expect on Sunday. Well, other than an opening scoring drive by the Vikings followed by three hours of Vikings offense that includes nothing but incomplete 5-yard-post patterns and broken up screen plays with a wasted effort by the only decent player we have in Adrian Peterson.

Good times.

Somebody should switch to Sanka.


Yes -- this is all over the internets -- but it is most definitely worth a full-length look at Mike Gundy and his tremendous meltdown.

One question though, and I always wonder this when coaches or players say they don't read the paper or listen to the media: if he doesn't read the newspaper, how did he see the article?

Come after me. I'm a man. I'm FORTY!

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Torii had a nice run. Now it's time to say goodbye.

We aren't endorsing the idea of Torii Hunter moving on and ending his career in a uniform other than that of the Minnesota Twins. But, we all need to get used to the idea of Hunter playing in Chicago, New York, Boston, or Texas next year -- and for the next few years after that.

He's done with the Twins.

It was fun, but it's time to move on. Good luck and best wishes. I hope Denard Span can figure out how to hit a breaking ball between now and next April.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Ladies and gentleman…Colton Iverson…we got him.

Maybe Gopher Nation is alive and well? Minnesota has its best recruit since Vincent Grier now that South Dakota’s Colton Iverson gave a verbal commitment to the Golden Gopher basketball team today.
From Keloland.com:

Iverson visited Creighton, Florida, and Nebraska, as well as Minnesota officially and also had unofficial visits to the University of South Dakota, North Dakota State, South Dakota State, University of New Mexico, and Iowa State. In all Colton received scholarship offers from more than 25 major college institutions, including multiple offers from schools in the Big East, SEC, ACC, Big 10, Big 12, and the PAC 10 conferences. Some of those schools that tendered offers include UCLA, Marquette, Kentucky, Washington State, Florida, Virginia, Iowa, and Cincinnati.
Nice job Tubby Smith. Maybe you could walk down the hall and give Tim Brewster a hug. Just tell him things will be okay. Maybe even invite yourself along on his next recruiting trip.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Do you want to play football for the Gophers?

We will take a guess and say most of our readers have all four years of college football eligibility remaining. No doubt many of you think you could do a better job of defending passes and running routes than this current crop of Gophers.

Well, now we can see if you really have the skills to get noticed. Here’s your chance to fill out the Golden Gopher recruiting questionnaire.

With luck, one of the outstanding recruiters from the Gopher staff will knock on your door with a scholarship offer.

We filled out our questionnaire over lunch today; it’s really pretty easy to use:
First Name: Cold
Last Name: Omaha
Grad Year: 1992, 1994, 1996
Address: Cold Omaha Headquarters
City: Anytown
State: Minnesota
Zip: 55555
Home phone: We screen calls and have solicitor block, so don’t bother trying
Cell phone: Only for emergencies
Fax number (if you have a home fax machine): We have a Kinko’s near us if needed
Email Address: acoldomaha@yahoo.com
Date of Birth: Old enough to drink, young enough to not live in the past
Social Security #: For the W-2? Cash payments only, please
Family Information:
Who do you live with?:
My wife, my dog, and her three cats.
Mother's Name: Mom
Mother's Occupation: You couldn’t follow her around all day; much less do the work she does
Mother's Alma Mater: PhD, Common Sense Institute
Family at U of M: We are all family; we are all part of Gopher Nation
Father's Name: Dad
Father's Occupation: CEO
Father's Alma Mater: MBA, University of Experience
Siblings: Youngest of four kids
Friends at U of M: Tubby Smith. But, he’s never really on campus, so not sure if that counts?
Who is going to influence your decision?: Probably television
School Info
Never really cared for it, to be honest
Coach's Name: Coach
Coach office phone: It only dials out
Coach cell phone: Seriously, people actually have their coach’s cell phone number?
GPA: About average
Core GPA: See above
SAT: Let’s just say I won’t be getting into Stanford
ACT: It was pretty low – why do you think the U is on my list?
Your academic interest: Hanging out on Northrop Mall and enjoying taco night at Sally’s
Career interest: Pro baseball player
Athletic Info:
With or without lifts?
Weight: What is this match.com? Don’t worry, we are in shape. Round is a shape
40 Time: Do you have a sundial?
Jersey #: Double Zero, baby
Offensive Position: Slow footed, weak armed, option quarterback
Defensive Position: You put me anywhere in that secondary and it’s an instant upgrade
Position you want to play: Reverse cowgirl, other
Other Sports: Basketball, Baseball, Softball, Poker, Golf, hunting, fishing, bird watching, any kind of video game

Schools you are interested in: Basically any team with whom you think the Gophers can compete
1) Bowling Green
2) North Dakota State
3) Florida Atlantic
4) Duluth School for the Blind
5) St. Paul Nurses of the Poor

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Proof that Kevin McHale was on TV before he ruined the Timberwolves

You have to forgive me, but I needed to post something fun today. If I sit here any longer thinking about Nick Punto playing 2nd base full-time for the Twins next year, blood might actually squirt out of my eye.

So, enjoy this Converse Weapons commercial from 1986.

Monday, September 17, 2007

Trying to see the upside.

As long as Tarvaris Jackson’s groin injury isn’t going to be a long-term thing, yesterday’s 20-17 loss at Detroit will help the Vikings as much as it hurt them.

The pass defense was bad, the offense couldn’t move the ball, and Jackson turned it over way too often. But, it was an entertaining game and The Purple still had a chance to win with a field goal at the end of regulation. At least Ryan Longwell’s attempt had the distance from 52-yards. I believe he makes that kick 8 out of 10 times.

We know this isn’t going to be a playoff team, so we’ll take an entertaining game when we can get it. Either way, it’s still about a million times better than cheering for the Gophers.

Saturday, September 15, 2007

Somewhere Glen Mason is looking at himself in the mirror and giggling.

This is getting sad.

Over the last month or so we’ve been saying Tim Brewster should be fired. It was mostly tongue-in-cheek two weeks ago.

Now it’s not.

The Gophers lost again today – this time to Florida Atlantic.

I don’t think it ever existed, but if there was a Gopher Nation, it’s pretty much dead now.

Well done Coach Brewster.

Mike Max is on TV and radio. That means his opinion is more important than yours

I am not a Mike Max fan. I am not sure if it’s the way he insults callers on his radio show, the way he boot-licks Sid Hartman, or if its just the fact that he doesn’t really know what he’s talking about and he normally confuses random thoughts and observations with actual news and information.

All of those things are okay if you are writing for some dopey sports blog, but isn’t he supposed to actually know what he’s talking about? Shouldn’t he have sources in places and access to information that we don’t have? Well…he doesn’t.

He’s the least plugged in sports guy in town and has been for the last five years. But still, even with all those faults, he somehow manages to come off as a smug and arrogant little man. If you are scoring at home, that’s hard to do.

Whatever your reasons for not liking him, you should still read his news and notes column, because it’s filled with hard-hitting facts. Plus, he's on WCCO.com so you know it’s good.

Other than Sid and Shooter, who I believe actually built their own sources over the years; where else can you get nuggets like this? Only from Mike Max:

“People inside the Twins organization will tell you Torii Hunter's decision on returning will be driven number one by money, number two by the team's chances to compete; something that does not bode well for the team right now.”

“The recently-acquired Wolves player, Al Jefferson has moved to the Twin Cities and is working out with coaches daily.”

“The day after his 17 strike out performance, Johan Santana headed to the health club the next morning for a spinning class.”

You’re telling me a hundred other people with cable TV and an internet connection couldn’t have come up with that information?

Now that’s a good question. Can Ben Tracy look into this for us? I know, I don’t have any idea who Ben Tracy is either.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

That Vietnam War injury flared up at a bad time for Greg Oden.

Are we sure the Wolves didn’t draft Greg Oden? It would make sense, since he hasn’t even played a minute in an NBA game and he’s already out for the season because of a knee injury.

Wow – how happy is Seattle right now? Kevin Durant is looking like a pretty good #2 pick.

Terry Ryan leaves and the blame falls on Carl Pohlad.

Twins GM Terry Ryan is on his way out. Speculation on the internets is running rampant, but the guess here is that he got sick and tired of having to low-ball players because of Carl Pohlad’s cheap ways. At some point it has to get old taking pot-shots from people for not spending money or for shipping players away to other teams because you know you can’t sign them as free agents when they are eligible.

A 2:00 press conference is planned.

Ryan will be missed. Its odd timing for something like this to happen and unless he’s being force out (why would this be the year for that) he’s definitely leaving on his own terms. Rumors are flying that he will stay in the Twins system, but at this point you have to wonder why. The best guess is he will remain with the team in some sort of scouting capacity but again – why not go to a franchise willing to spend money and run a real baseball operation?

Kind of a sad day for Twins fans I think. His assistant, Bill Smith, will take over as GM.

By the way – the Twins are still playing.

Everyone is excited about Adrian Peterson and everyone knows the Gopher football team is terrible. But, the Twins are still playing games and we thought it might be nice to check in on them.

Here’s what we know:

Carlos Silva is hurt – he pulled a groin yesterday during the loss to the Royals. Sounds like all those spinning classes with Johan Santana may have backfired.

The Twins are now 10 ½ games back – makes you kind of happy you stopped paying attention, huh?

Justin Morneau hasn’t hit a homerun since August 24. At this point, he could probably use a week or two off.

Matthew LeCroy is inexplicably back up with the big club. He must know some deep dark secrets about Terry Ryan. I would pay $1,000 to see him play nine full innings as a catcher for the Twins this year. The opposing team, pick whichever one you want, would steal at least ten bases off him.

Joe Mauer is playing again and it’s been a few days since anyone has said anything publicly about him changing positions. Let me break that trend: Joe Mauer should change positions.

Jason Kubel is a tease. He hit .364 in August and is hitting .370 in September. He hit .250 before the break.

At some point we are going to stop watching Twins games and focus on something a little more interesting. It’s going to be a long winter without Circle Me Bert signs, but somehow I think we’ll manage.

We’ve been hooked on Big Brother, Rock of Love, and Sopranos reruns on A@E and that has helped ease us off baseball. But we aren’t sure how to spend the cold fall nights in front of the TV. It might be time to turn to Survivor or Kid Nation. Is it too late to get into Heroes? Is it worth even going there at this point?

Well, at least the baseball playoffs will be here in a month and we can listen to Tim McCarver say things like “running the bases well and taking the extra base in the playoffs is important, that’s why guys with great speed are important in the playoffs.”

At least we don’t have to listen to him during Twins games.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Coach Chill talks presidential succession.

When Chester Taylor comes back from his oblique injury, he will get just as many carries as Adrian Peterson; because that's the way the head coach wants it.

That’s fine. Chester Taylor is a serviceable NFL running back. In fact, he’s above average. But, Adrian Peterson is a stud and at some point this job sharing thing just won’t work.

Childress did try to explain the significance of having two solid running backs by making a pretty reasonable comparison when he said:

"That's why it's good to have two. That's why you have a vice president, because the president might not be there. He might be gone, and the vice president has to step up."

Yeah, I would say being the President/VP is about the same as running a football. They are pretty comparable when it’s all said and done. Coach Chill is coming out of his shell a little bit and he’s starting to sound like Denny Green.

I am looking forward to seeing Speaker of the House Mewelde Moore back in uniform this week. He should be returning kicks instead of Adrian Peterson and he does have a little shiftiness in him should Chester Taylor not be able to go.

If we get to the point where President pro tempore of the Senate Naufahu Tani spends a lot of time running the ball, this season is over.

Monday, September 10, 2007

What’s not to like?

Winning at home against the Michael Vick-less Falcons, especially when they are lead by Joey Harrington, isn’t really that tough to do. But for this Minnesota Vikings team, any win is a good win.

The defense was outstanding and Adrian Peterson gives us a reason to be optimistic. Sure Tavaris Jackson didn’t do much, but he didn’t really hurt the offense either, so at this point -- it is all systems go. Taking on the Lions next week should be a good test, particularly for the secondary, since they get to see Calvin Johnson for the first of what will no doubt be many 100 yard 8 catch days.

All in all not a bad weekend – the Gopher football team squeaked by Miami of Ohio and the Twins called Matthew LeCroy up to the big club for one last month of major league salary before he hangs up the cleats for good. He only hit .194 down in AAA Rochester this year, but you can’t overlook his defensive talent at the catcher position. With all of the Twins catchers banged up, LeCroy was the only option left. Yikes.

Sunday, September 9, 2007

Sid says Weber reminds him of Tarkenton, Vince Young.

Sid Hartman hasn’t written or said the words “cold Omaha” in a long time, which is obviously disappointing to us. But – Sid keeps on delivering like nobody else can.

In his Sunday column he writes that current Gopher quarterback Adam Weber reminds him of NFL great Fran Tarkenton. Tarkenton started his professional career in 1961, so I am going to go out on a limb and guess many of you never saw him play.

That’s okay, because Sid also compared Weber to someone you have seen play: Vince Young.

Here are the unbelievable comments from Sid in the Strib:

“As I watched young redshirt freshman Adam Weber take over the Gophers offense on Saturday in the 41-35 three-overtime victory over Miami (Ohio), he reminded me of another young quarterback named Fran Tarkenton…”

Sid admitted he might take some shots from people for making this comparison, but then he went a step further and made another odd comparison between Weber and Vince Young:

“Yes, I'll be ridiculed for this comparison…And yes, I expect more ridicule when I compare Weber, after two college starts, to having the athletic ability of Vince Young, the great All-America whom Gophers coach Tim Brewster recruited and coached at Texas. But Weber has some of the athletic ability of Young, now a star with the Tennessee Titans.”

I am too embarrassed for him to ridicule him. We still love you Sid. But wow – this is getting sad.

Friday, September 7, 2007

Buy out, sell out -- whatever. Game on.

Other than Alix Kendall, it's hard to find anything to like about KMSP TV Channel 9 in Minneapolis.

But -- they purchased the remaining Vikings tickets to ensure that the game wouldn't be blacked out. And, I guess that's something.

You can read about it here:

Thursday, September 6, 2007

Loving LA

This is the first week back from what turned out to be a top-five vacation on the west coast. Yes, things started badly. But, once we were actually in California, everything was great.

A couple of days in LA, followed by a week in Cambria, followed by a few more days of sightseeing in LA just so happened to be what the doctor ordered. Other than the fact that it was hot enough to melt trees while we were in So Cal, everything was Rosie.

The entire trip was highlights, but a few things stand out:

If you ever find yourself on the central coast of California you have to go to Hearst Castle. It’s over-the-top luxury and extravagance is almost too tough to put into words. We toured the place for nearly three hours and because it’s so large, we didn’t even see half of what is there to be seen. William Randolph Hearst was a lot of things, but thrifty he was not. The place is adorned with antiques and artifacts dating back hundreds of years. So what if he was allegedly a little crazy and so what if he spent money like a drunken sailor. The house is pretty amazing and it is most definitely haunted, so it was a highlight in my book.

The gal and I had a chance to take in a night game at Dodger Stadium. In a word, Chavez Ravine is totally freaking beautiful. Sure, the crowd arrives in the 3rd inning and leaves in the 7th, but the stadium is more than worth the price of admission. My favorite part of the evening was the people watching. Folks go to the old ballpark to see and be seen. Just ask the woman next to us who was drinking her $10 beer out of straw so she wouldn’t mess up her lipstick. And, if you are interested, the Dodger Dog has nothing on the Dome Dog – it’s just a larger, more expensive version of what we have here.

The feelings I have for IN and OUT Burger can’t be described. Why don’t we have them here? Let’s move on, I am getting emotional.

Seeing the "Hollywood" sign in person was pretty sweet.

The heat in California was unlike any other heat I have ever experienced. It was somehow dry and humid at the same time. The day we left it was 102 degrees. In the words of Lewis Black, it should never be so hot that you actually think “I should have put deodorant on my balls,” but I felt that way for the last 72 hours of our trip.

Last but not least -- a lowlight about the trip.

I have to mention how big of a pain traveling on an airplane is these days. At this point, I would choose to drive an RV through the mountains rather than spend another second of my life in LAX. It’s hands-down the worst airport I have ever flown into or out of and they make the folks at MSP look like award winning customer service providers.

Adding insult to injury, we flew Northwest airlines. This company has figured out a way to suck every enjoyable moment out of traveling. The worst part is -- we don’t have any other options here, so we are stuck with their rude employees and shoddy customer service. Until Jet Blue comes to this market or Sun Country steps it up and flies to a few more cities, we get the most poorly run airline in the nation. Other than that – they are doing a great job.

All that being said, the moral of the story is this: LA is great. I can’t wait to go back.

Cold Prediction: Vikings will win 4 games.

I hate to play “remember when” – but do you remember when the Vikings had a decent chance of winning just about every game they played? Sure, it was almost ten years ago that the 1998 Minnesota Vikings went 15-1 on their way to blowing the NFC Championship game against the Falcons, but still – it kind of feels like yesterday.

Over the last ten years, the purple never really hit rock bottom. Last year they won only 6 games, but that was the lowest win total they had during the last ten years and it never really felt like bottoming-out. Yes, the offense was terrible, Coach Chill didn’t seem to be able to coach or speak English, and Brad Johnson aged 10 years in the span of two months. But to me at least, it never felt like the Vikings were horrendous. Well, this is the year for all of us to feel that the Vikings are horrendous.

Take a close look at this schedule:

Sep 9 - vs. Atlanta, 1:00 PM
Sep 16 - at Detroit, 4:05 PM
Sep 23 - at Kansas City, 1:00 PM
Sep 30 - vs. Green Bay, 1:00 PM
Oct 10 - Open
Oct 14 - at Chicago, 1:00 PM
Oct 21 - at Dallas, 1:00 PM
Oct 28 - vs. Philadelphia, 1:00 PM
Nov 4 - vs. San Diego, 1:00 PM
Nov 11 - at Green Bay, 1:00 PM
Nov 18 - vs. Oakland, 1:00 PM
Nov 25 - at NY Giants, 1:00 PM
Dec 2 - vs. Detroit, 1:00 PM
Dec 9 - at San Francisco, 4:05 PM
Dec 17 - vs. Chicago, 8:30 PM
Dec 23 - vs. Washington, 1:00 PM
Dec 30 - at Denver, 4:15 PM

I see four winnable games; this week against the Falcons, at home against Green Bay, at home against Oakland on November 18, and maybe at home against Detroit on December 2. That’s it. Four wins. Cheering for the Vikings won’t be easy this season, but at least we know what we have. I am actually looking forward to being happy if they play well and not really caring if they lose.

Okay, that’s not entirely true. I will still care if they lose and I will throw things at the TV and probably swear at them way too often and eventually burn my Mewelde Moore jersey if they don’t win at least 4 games. But – we are rebuilding this year and 4 wins is going to have to be good enough for all of us. If they go on a run and rattle of 2-3 wins in a row sometime this month, I have the right to take back everything I just wrote.

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Those tickets, apparently, won’t sell themselves.

If you live in within 75 miles of the metro area and want to see the Vikings game on television this Sunday, you might be out of luck. The team still needs to sell more than 3,500 tickets or the game will be blacked-out to local audiences.

The Vikings haven’t had a game blacked-out since 1997. Why can't General Mills buy up all of those tickets the way they did back in the good old days? Some corporation needs to step up and do the right thing because driving to Minneapolis this weekend isn't an option for us here at Cold Omaha.

Please, please, please Mr. or Ms. Corporation muckity mucks: buy those tickets and give the fans the game they so richly deserve. Or, maybe the Vikings could find some offensive talent by Friday and then the fans will buy the tickets on their own. Either way, just get the game on TV.

Monday, September 3, 2007

Vikings welcome another guy you have never heard of before.

It's been a fantastic Labor Day Weekend for Minnesota sports teams. In fact, its been a pretty good run for us over the last couple of weeks. The Indians finally stepped on the Twins throats and ended their season. The Gopher football team lived up to the hype and lost to Bowling Green. And the Vikings are getting the roster finalized as they ramp up for their first game of the season next Sunday against the Falcons.

Another key addition to the Super Bowl run was added when the Vikings picked up Tight End Garrett Mills from New England. Don't know who he is? That's okay, we don't either. But, prior to the pre-season, we hadn't heard of Naufahu Tahi, Chase Johnson, or Jayme Mitchell -- and they all somehow made the final roster.

Let's trust Coach Quiet for at least the first half of the season. While he's obviously not a big X's and O's kind of coach, maybe he knows something about personnel?

Plus, he's started a wonderful trend of referring to himself as "Chill" during radio interviews. That kind of humor is hard to ignore. Maybe referring to himself in the third person will help. It can't hurt, right?

Sunday, September 2, 2007

Fire Tim Brewster.

It’s jeezo beezo all over again -- and Gopher Nation mourns.

For those who thought Tim Brewster was the answer – I am here to tell you... he isn't. Unless the question is "who will be the first Minnesota coach fired in 2008?"

Sure, we here at Cold Omaha have been called some of the "dumbest blogger(s) in the history of the internet" but we think Brewster is terrible and he is in completely over his head.

I don't care if he can recruit. He can't coach. He can't motivate.

At some point some of these "4 Star" recruits are going to flip-flop and sign someplace else because even a 17-year-old kid is going to pick up the fact that Brewster is simply a rah-rah guy who shouldn't be running a Division 1 program.

Recruiting is a great skill and it can't be overlooked. But he is getting his team BLOWN-OUT on a consistent basis and his team never looks ready. Tell me how recruiting is going to make that better.

The folks at www.firebrewster.blogspot.com have it right.

He has to go.